small village scene

Letters About Health/Illness

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Topic: Sexual Satisfaction

BT Wrote:

My husband and I have been married long enough that I should be more sexually satisfied than I am. It gets frustrating sometimes. I think it is my husband's problem, but I'm not sure.

He simply makes no effort to satisfy me sexually. When I try to talk about it with him, he becomes angry. I know he is interested in sex, but he isn't interested in how I feel about it. What is your advice to me?

B Responded:

You need to visit Dr. Ruth's online site. It is a wonderful place for such problems and can be found at:

This site contains information for us all. It is excellent as you would expect from the leading sex therapist. Go visit and start learning today! First, you learn more. Then surprise that husband of yours by showing, not talking, about the information you get there. Who knows...he may want to talk and to visit Dr. Ruth's site with you. Good luck! There's always hope as long as you are learning and trying to change things for the betterment of you both, no matter what it is about.

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Topic: Handling Illness

KA Wrote:

I have just learned that I have a serious illness. I don't know if I can handle it. Any advice on this one?

B Responded:

Any illness is serious if someone cannot handle it, but don't be too hard on yourself. If you just learned about it, then you are having a normal reaction wondering and worrying about all of it.

Some advice I would give, which is not mine, is that first you do need to talk about it. This will help your self-esteem right now. Talk to anyone you can...both off and on the web.

Next, while it is easily said, and harder to do, is accept it. You are now this person who has an illness, so accept it as now part of you.

Don't stop doing anything you want to, just because of this illness. Be alert and aware and go for everything as you normally would, but within the confines of your condition. Life now includes this illness, but don't let it stop you from being involved in living the life you like.

Be compassionate with others...we, all of us who don't truly understand, need...your...compassion.

and lastly, treat yourself gently. Don't punish yourself for this illness.

This is the advice from an outstanding human being who was saying "goodbye" each day from a terminal disease, with absolutely no hope for even a cure in his lifetime. I would think it is the best advice available since it is from someone who definitely knows.

Good luck...I hope this helps. Read and re-read this often.

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Topic: No Sleep

SG Wrote:

I don't get enough sleep. I have no trouble falling asleep. I just wake up too early. I toss and turn from 6:30 a.m. until I get up at 8:30 a.m. I am so tired. Do you have any suggestions?

B Responded:

There is a lot of information on the internet about sleeping problems and how to cope, even temporarily. Search under 'sleep deprivation' and/or simply 'sleeping problems.'

Two things determine if it is a problem. If it interferes with your activities during the day and/or if it continues for a long period of time.

I would search the web for good information, try some home remedies, such as getting some exercise, keeping the temperature in the room comfortable, keep those windows covered and the bedroom dark, etc. I understand that you shouldn't lie in bed awake for more than 30 minutes. Simply get up and do some kind of quiet thing and then give it a try again. Too, don't expect, whatever you try, overnight results. Whatever you try must be done for some time.

If nothing works, then I'd see a doctor. It may only be temporary so don't worry about it, just take some action to try to change this habit that isn't what you want.

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Topic: I'm An Addict!

WL Wrote:

I think I'm an internet addict. I want to be on the internet all the time and my parents are really getting mad at me.

The time just seems to fly by and I don't mean to be on so long. It is causing me a lot of problems at home. My parents don't understand. Can you help me?

B Responded:

Yes, the internet is fun. Yes, you can become an addict to it. Like everything else in life, you, and only you, can and must develop self-control over this desire. That's what your parents are trying to tell you, I am sure. You simply must have more self-control and not let your internet time become more important than everything or anyone else at home.

First, I would start by deciding for yourself how many hours per week you can devote to being online without it interfering with life off the web or upsetting your parents.

Then start practicing self-control and do not stay online any more than your allotted, self-prescribed time; no matter what! Start planning activities, etc., that will not permit you to have time on your hands period.

If you can't control yourself online, then you can have problems everywhere, including off line. Self-control is a very important trait to develop. It's not about the internet; it's about you! With no self-control you can become addicted to anything. Start practicing and developing self-control. You can do it!

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